so... it's june!

which means may is over. which also means i failed miserably at blogging everyday in may. i didn't even finish the last few topics and i'm too lazy to catch up.

however looking at my archive count, i have 10 posts last months. that's the most number of posts in this blog.

at least i tried.

participating in this challenge reminds me of how blogging was like when i started. the difference is, there were tmi's when i started and nowadays i'm more cautious with what i shared.

if you haven't read them, you can read them here. while i didn't respond to all topics, i did cover most of them.

letting go

what's my reaction to letting go?

it's to stop thinking about what-if's and why's, accept the fact that it happened, forget about it, and move on with your life. there's no point wasting your time hanging onto it.

let's blame it on 'we were once young and we did stupid things'. perhaps we didn't realize it was stupid. perhaps we knew it was stupid but we did it anyway. what could we do?

let it go.

this sounds so easy so many years later but it probably wasn't at the time. life moves on and you'll eventually move along.

dear readers and songs

i planned to take some photos today for today's topic, but i couldn't sleep last night (again!) i woke up when the boy came back from school. i was tired and unmotivated. of course i could look up my photo archives but i'm lazy... (if you haven't read my worst traits...)

so i'm doing yesterday's and tomorrow's topic.

a letter to my readers

just want to say, thank you!

thank you for stopping by. whether you read my blogs regularly or you're first time visitors.

5 songs that brings back memories

1. it must have been love by roxette
2. fading like a flower by roxette
3. listen to your heart by roxette
4. this used to be my playground by madonna
5. without you by mariah carey

can you tell i'm roxette fans? love their songs!

these songs not necessarily bring back memories in the sense that something happened. it brought back memories because i listened to them a lot back in the days. i could put the songs on replay all day!

more catching ups with blog everyday in may

ha, i failed to blog everyday again since the last post. it's not just this blog. i haven't touched my other blog for the whole week too.

i'll select some topics that i've missed this week...

things i've learned that the school won't teach me

i've left school for so long i can't remember what i learned in school! yes, i'm so old... probably either things i've incorporated what i learned into my life or things that were never used after leaving school.

one of which i learned but not taught in school are acceptable behaviors and manners.

i don't know if it's due to cultural difference. when i was studying in taiwan, they talk about manners. how you should treat people. what you should or shouldn't do. what are the correct way to do things. what's acceptable aren't necessarily right. what are the appropriate behaviors. etc etc.

schools over here don't teach nor talk about these things. they expect you learn things like these at home. but what about parents and carers who don't know these things?

eg. i've heard some australian making what i'd say close to racist comments because of some behaviors made by new migrants. they don't know that's not quite acceptable in australian culture. they can't possibly teach their children if they don't know. if their children weren't taught the 'acceptable' behaviors they may not learn.

if people are to expect to learn by watching examples, that probably explains why there are so many rude people in some big cities.

top 3 worst traits

1. lazy.
2. lazy.
3. lazy.

see, i'm too lazy to think about the other 2...

something someone told me about me that i'll never forget

"you're actually quite beautiful."

you probably think no wonder i'm so full of it naming all my sites 'pretty'...

it's probably due to my mom's parenting style. she believes saying positive things about kids are bad. i grew up believing i was ugly and stupid. not to mention some mean aunts who continuously reminded me how ugly i was.

when i was teenager, i dreamed about being a star. i know, it's contradicting that i thought i was ugly yet i wanted to be a star. because, most stars are beautiful.

the above statement was told by mom's friend's son who used to work in hk's movie industry. i was told some of the 'dark stories', which include 'sleeping' and 'extra works', which may ended up with nothing.

he made the above statement not in praising sort of way, but to make me realize, i could probably get into the industry because you need to have at least a pretty face to have an easier path to get into it. but it's very competitive in those industry as there are so many other pretty girls too and you have to be exceptionally beautiful to be noticed. he said the following after the above statement, "but you're not exceptionally beautiful."

the same person, who sort of knows face reading, also told me that "you're actually quite smart", and he said the following, "but you're lazy and do not fully utilize your intelligence."

so.... i'm actually not ugly and not stupid!

it's after talking to this person i stopped dreaming about being a star and started to put more effort into studying. i also become more positive about myself.

rant about something

this is supposed to be tomorrow's topic. but i'm too lazy to work on today's topic so i'll just fast forward a day. i'm living in the future for most people anyway!

ranting is something i try to avoid, at least in the public realm. because you don't know what you say may get you one day.

because there's no such thing as freedom of speech.

it's freedom of speech when majority agree.

it's offensive, insulting, disrespect, distasteful, racist etc if majority don't like what you say. even if you're speaking your mind and truely don't think there's anything wrong with it.

if it's something majority agree on, some small number of people are very sensitive and / or will nitpick what you say.

so, there. my rant is about something i can't nor want to rant publicly. i'll just do it privately and share with people i trust.

catching up with blogging everyday

i know i know, i failed at blogging everyday. i haven't touched this blog for over a week.

i was stuck at day 11. sell myself in 10 words. blank. blank. blank. then i started this 'i give up' emo.

anyways...

i'll try to catch up in this post. not necessarily covering all the topics.

what do i miss?

there are so many stages of my life i miss. if there's a time machine to go back in time, i'd probably choose my uni days and the 2 years i was working in hk.

going to uni is another stage of life. feel like moving into adulthood. if you lived in a dictatorship family, you'll know what i mean. i was still somewhat under mom's control, but i've learned to get my ways around for more freedom. i met friends who have become life long friends. i started to have some limited social life.

moving to work in hk is another major step. while one of the official reasons is because most of my friends were there. the main reason was to be completely out of mom's control. while i was struggling financially due to lean and mean salary and high rent, i was very happy. i felt like i had my own life and i didn't have to explain anything to anyone.

10 things that make me really happy

1. the husband, who's the most wonderful man in the world.
2. my kids, although they can be pains and drive me crazy sometimes.
3. makeup.
4. food.
5. midnight coffee time with the husband, with hubby-made latte
6. money.

ok, that's all i can come up with now.

a story from my childhood

there aren't much i could remember about my childhood. maybe because i'm getting old... it's all bits and pieces of memories.

i remember i fell down the stair a lot. i could be just walking and then the next thing i rolled down. then mom would press her dirty slippers on my head. i know what you think but as far as i could remember that's what most mothers did in those days to their children when they fell.

i was lonely most times as i wasn't allowed to play with other kids in the neighborhood. this was probably the foundation of my anti-social-ness. and when i was allowed to, not many kids wanted to play with me. it was until i was somewhat older i knew the problem came from... surprise! my mom.

i was quite happy when i finally had a little brother to play with. but he's a pain in the b*** and made my life miserable. it was always my fault when he got into trouble and even when i didn't do anything. i remember knocking his loose baby tooth out when he pissed me and that made him cry. ah, the revenge. of course this only worked for 2 or 3 of his teeth and then he learned it's a natural process. damn!

most embarrassing moment(s)

omg, i have so many i want to erase from my memory!

here's one. kinda longish...

i have a very strict conservative mom. i wasn't allowed to have boyfriend even when i was in uni. any of my friends who had boyfriends were bad influences on me. she expected me to concentrate with my studies and even expected me to get a phd. and of course she did scared many guys away.

then one day, someone introduced me a boyfriend. he was here to study his masters degree. and for some reason my mom changed her mind and pushed me into this relationship. she started to worry that i'd ended up being an old maid.

and for some reason, mom really liked this guy. almost treated him like we're getting married soon.

this... made things quite awkward...

this guy, i don't even remember his face. not my type of guy. not a bad guy. kinda boring. but that's ok. i'd happy to get to know him had mom not created so much obvious 'coincidences' which turned out totally absolutely awkward and embarrassing.

it was a relief that he decided to attend a uni in sydney because no uni in qld offered what he wanted to study. (fyi, if you don't know, i grew up in brisbane.)

but....

mom called him every now and then. mom called him! ok, i pretended i knew nothing about it. then one night i overheard something like i was waiting for him to come back.

what?!

i've only met him a few times before he went to sydney. i didn't even get to know him. he didn't say anything that he's interested in me. and there, i was waiting for him???!!! did she make me look like i was desperate or what?

so what i thought was embarrassing before wasn't as embarrassing as this.

do you expect me to see him next time he visited? no way. mom almost disowned me when he visited brisbane next term break and i 'coincidentally' planned holiday somewhere else with my friends.

mom still called him when he went back. i overheard more things like, i do not how to cherish him...

omg!!! nothing happened and what did i have to cherish???

there is a long list of things i overheard. just don't want to think about them anymore!

this is one incident i do not have to see the person to be totally embarrassed.

he visited several times thereafter. but i've never seen him. i always had excuses. i could not and didn't know how to face him.

i think in the end he tried to avoid mom... because he moved and didn't leave his contact.